As I drove to the bank this morning, I realized something about myself. 

Most people take photos of other people; either people doing shit or just a bunch of people standing around, or maybe even just one person being 'interesting'. You might say I realized most people find other people interesting - interesting enough to take their pictures.

It turns out, most of my pictures, the vast majority, are taken of things; e.g. train engines, abandoned buildings, a wig I found in the gutter, a pair of blown-out shoes in the woods, an old bridge grown over by shrubs and trees. In fact, you might say that I find groups of people as interesting as groups of pigeons - it's not to say that they aren't interesting, but the only time I watch pigeons is when they're getting run over by trains in Chicago. In fact, if I could spend a whole day being invisible, I would - and I wouldn't spend that time interacting with people, either, I'd be reading books, taking pictures and walking places without a bunch of eyes following me.

In fact, let me relate a short story. When I was a teenager, I got it in my head to dress up and go out walking. From the outside, it seemed an obvious cry for attention - I was dressed in a long fur-lined women's coat, sunglasses, a dust mask, jeans, boots, gloves, and a hat. Who wouldn't notice that? Yet, what seemed so "obvious" to me was anything but to everyone else. In my mind, being dressed like that made me invisible; I was literally incognito. After the police picked me up and took me home (my walk only lasted 20 minutes) my parents insisted it was me trying to garner attention, and their reaction is typical. It took me another ten years to learn that in order to become invisible, you have to pretend to do normal things like everyone else; you have to inject yourself into their world, wear a smile, laugh at their jokes, even force feed yourself some of their entertainment. Whatever you do, don't try to hide because that makes other humans salivate.

But I'm not about to defend my interests, or really my disinterests. Frankly, I am the oddball, and my behavior should be the exception. Human beings are social creatures, they do not, and should not, isolate themselves from others. Human beings require connection with other humans, and usually they need a large network of friends and family. I'm one of those people that only needs a connection with about five people, and that's only in order for me to be 'happy' - I can survive without anyone, to be honest, but I choose this life.

I promise I'm reaching a point, but first, imagine the kinds of people who can't forge friendships, or those who prefer not to: schizophrenics, psychopaths; violent offenders locked in solitary confinement, the maniac who comes out at night to stalk innocents, drunks absorbed in their daily crutch; the dregs of society, et al. And let's be honest, many of them want friends, look for paths into society, need some kind of connection and human touch. Even Al Capone wanted fame, fortune and friends; even John Wayne Gacy belonged to the local Jaycees. 

So my behavior is unusual, it's not something to which one should aspire, but to which one should recoil. 

So why in the hell are we sitting silently as Donald Trump signs into law an executive order that bans over 130 million potential American leaders, artists, scientists, soldiers, teachers, writers, cooks, comedians, doctors, gardeners, salesman, mechanics, musicians, miners, janitors, and train engineers? Why would we allow ourselves to become so isolated? Why are we allowing this imbecile to turn our country into a prison?

I don't like being in the position where my paranoid conspiracies become real. I don't like acknowledging the possibility that we're heading down a path with no way to turn around, where we either rise up and kill our masters, or find ourselves at the other end of a bloody and burnt tunnel, where the United States is no longer united, where regions are split up into smaller, contained 'countries', where the fall of the Soviet Union will look like a bloodless Eastern European holiday.

If I'm the one saying this, you better fucking listen up. I can't stand other people, don't need them, don't care for them. I wish I could drive down empty roads and shop in empty stores. But even I know better than to isolate this country from the rest of the world. Even I know better than to ban millions from entering. Even I know where we're headed - a big goddamn nightmare. Better start learning how to live on rice and dirty water because you'll be lucky to have that.